If you’re gonna do it, do it right.
1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.
2. Always toast before doing a shot.
3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.
4. Change your toast at least once a month.
5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.
6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.
8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.
9. Get the bartender’s attention with eye contact and a smile.
10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.
11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: Great, now I’m going to get drunk. I hate shots. It’s coming back up.
12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.
13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He’ll get the message.
14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.
15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.
16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you.
17. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference.
18. Always have a corkscrew in your house.
19. If you don’t have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.
20. Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks.
badoodles.wordpress.com
wrote,
chuck, i’ve done my homework. where do i get my ‘Certified Modern Boozer’ plaque? hahaha!
one best practice i’ve learned [no. 6] not to get too dumb buying the woman all her drinks is when she orders more, you tell the bartender that that’s the last one on you. signals that’s the last you’d buy her. and you’d be forced to stand by your word. she’ll understand, hoping she’s not a moron.
Link | June 25th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
Chuckster
wrote,
Hahaha! Either you buy her some, just enough for her to get the hint… or you buy her a whole lot and get her drunk so you can take her wasted ass back to your place! Hahaha!
Link | June 25th, 2007 at 5:42 pm